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I am “that mom”. You know, the one who wouldn’t feed her kids junk food when they were little. I’m a firm believer that most of the time, if you’re going to put something in your body, it should be worth it. We want to nourish our bodies with foods full of nutrients that will sustain us and help us grow. I did this in hopes that when my kids grew up, they would not only be healthy, but they would make good food choices (because they certainly aren’t going to be eating only at my table forever!).
I am also diligent about teaching them to make good reading choices in our homeschool throughout the school year. I love to read, and try to expose them to rich literature and guide them toward good book choices. I want them to use their reading time wisely so they will grow in knowledge and their understanding of the world through the books.
So, with all my experience guiding my children toward healthy eating and reading habits, why can it be such a struggle to guide my kids towards healthy tech habits? You can read the extended answer to this question in A Mom's Greatest Struggle in This Tech-Driven World. But, in a nutshell, the “too much screen time war” is culturally a new experience, and we are the first generation of moms who needs to figure this out. We are digital immigrants raising the first generation of digital natives, trying to navigate all. the. electronic devices.
Let’s face it. Computers, video games, and mobile devices are here to stay. Our kids have been born into an more advanced technological society than you and Iwere born into. And our kids need to know how to make the most of that technology, but in a healthy and productive way.
Healthy Tech Habits for the Whole Family
Sure enough, the question has come up: how much time is too much time for our kids in front of a screen?
We use screens quite a bit for our homeschooling, and my kids love them for personal use as well. But I don't want to just let my kids loose without setting them up for success and teaching them good habits. Just like I wouldn't let them have a free-for-all each day with our kitchen pantry.
I wish I had the magic number, but the truth is, your family's rules and tech habits will vary from mine. However, here are 5 tips that I've found to help you end screen time battles and begin to form some healthy habits surrounding tech in your home.
#1…Model healthy tech habits
This one is convicting. But it's an important thing that needs to be said.
Josh and I are always reminding each other that “our kids will become us”. What are your kids learning as they observe your media habits? Do you surf the web excessively, getting sucked into Pinterest and the Blogsphere? Do you text and message on your cell phones compulsively, making responseto notifications and social media a priority in your life?
You may have a hard time with this…I certainly do at times. But our kiddos are watching and learning. Consider exactly what they are learning as they observe your media habits and the amount of time you spend on your own devices.
#2…Identifyuseful & productive screen time
No one can deny that digital tools make our lives so much easier. Online shopping and banking…video chats with long-distance family…work productivity apps…educational apps and YouTube videos…what would we do without them? But, the internet can also have a negative effect at the end of the day if we let it suck our time away and entice us with mindless entertainment.
Same goes for our kids. It is important for your family to differentiate between worthwhile tech time and useless hours of screen time. To learn the difference, read “Are Your Kids Wasting Time on Electronics? 3 Questions to Ask.”
#3…Establish tech device ground rules
I encourage you to develop a standard for tech usage in your family. Your guidelines may not look just like the “Jones’” (just like your eating habits don’t look like theirs). But, you need to find what works for your family so that everyone understands theexpectations about the appropriate use and amount of screen time.
Involve your kids in developing the guidelines so they have more ownership and understanding of your family's standards. Read “Why I Stopped Managing My Kids' Screen Time”to learn what works for our family.
There are many free printables you can find and download to post in your home to remind everyone of your guidelines if that helps. Make sure you grab my free screen time chart I have at the bottom of this post.
#4…Monitor your family’s digital activities
I’m not going to try and teach you how to monitor your child's screen timebecause (being honest here) I am not always good at monitoring my own kids.Since my kids have made smart choices so far, I haven’t made it a priority to figure out how to automate the monitoring. So, if you have any tips, feel free to chime in in the comments.
I do know that you can do a search for “monitor kids computer time” or something like that and learn from the experts if you're looking for monitoring software (something I am “not” in this area), or help with parental control options. Bark is a highly rated software that can help you monitor text messages and social media accounts (we actually have this installed, but my husband manages it). ParentProTech is also a great platform that can help you navigate ever-changing technology if you need a bit of help in this area.
#5…Work to find a solution when there is a problem
Don’t go on a screen time eradication campaign if your kids mess up. You need to help them form healthy media habits, not alienate them.
If the simple rules you establish aren’t working, discuss them and adjust. Discover why they don’t work and find a solution.
The screen time checklist I set in place in our home resulted in disaster. I had to micromanage it, and the kids were obsessing over their turn and bickering with each other. When we went to unlimited tech time, we had so much more peace in our home.
Free Screen Time Rules Printable
As for our “screen time rules”? We actually have unlimited tech time in our home.
Now, before you think that this sounds crazy, hear me out. Yes, my kids can use their computers and screens as much as they want, however, we have parameters in place to help them create healthy habits (so they aren't on their screens all. day. long). Yes, it is possible!
Below, you can download the printable PDF file that we use in our home. It's kind of like a mission statement for tech use in our family, and there is a spot for you to fill in your own guidelines on screentime limits.
You'll get a copy of my guidelines, but also a blank version to fill in yourself.
By letting your kids have a say in the screen time limits, it puts responsibility and accountability on them to uphold the rules. Let them help you determine the guidelines for productive minutes of screen time, “techertainment” screen time limits (time in front of a screen for pure entertainment), and screen-free time. There's also a blank space for you to fill in what they must accomplish before having screen time at all (for example, household chores, creative time, school work, Bible study, outside time…whatever your personal guidelines are).
Need some help managing your family's screen time?
Need some help managing your family's screen time?Download a set of tech time guidelines and tailor it to your family's needs.
Sign up to receive Techie Homeschool Mom'sFamily Tech Time Guidelines
So, what do you think, my friend? Do you think you need to help your kids form healthy techhabits? Are these five things realistic? Which do you think will be the hardest for you to implement? Let’s talk about it.
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